Ever have a hum drum interaction with a girl? Ever felt completely lost for words and clueless? Well, ultimately you will have to learn a few tricks that will act as training wheels to teaching you how to tease women.
We’re about to talk about some big issues when it comes to flirting with women, and that is rapport, more specifically, breaking rapport.
What is Rapport?
To understand rapport you must first understand comfort. The easiest definition is that comfort is rapport and trust. It is when two people have a connection and are able to relate to one another. In male to female interactions, comfort is established when there is mutual trust and comfort between the two parties.
That comfort can be made quickly or may take longer to take place. If we are introduced to someone by a good friend or family member, we will probably have comfort with them quickly because they are connected via a mutual friend. If we were to just meet someone on the street it might take longer to get comfort because there is no connection between the two of us.
There are a number of techniques that are beneficial in building comfort. Matching your body language (i.e. posture, gestures and so forth), maintaining eye contact and smiling, and being able to generate and maintain good conversation are all ways to build comfort. Rapport is a relationship that you build with someone and it is based on mutual comfort.
Why We Break Rapport
Since comfort is trust and rapport, and rapport is when two people have a connection and are relating to one another, it sounds like this is the kind of behavior we would want to encourage. Why would we go about breaking it? Well, the point is, we have already established that there is a comfortable connection with the girl, though she probably has these kind of interactions dozens of times a day.
Comfortable interactions are what we have with our parents, family members and close friends. What we need to do is make you stand out from the crowd by making the situation slightly uncomfortable. We are looking for the one thing that will visibly show a difference in our interactions with women.
Breaking rapport is it.
When you make the situation slight uncomfortable, her natural response will be to try and fix it. After all, women aren’t likely to be used to being put in uncomfortable scenarios and will want to change this. She may start by laughing at the situation to diffuse it or try to defend herself. This involves her becoming invested in the situation and that investment is used to generate attraction.
There was an unusual study done in speed dating where they used three separate control groups of men. In the first round of speed dating, the first group of men were friendly, pleasant and in agreement to everything the woman said. They always said yes, liked the same movies/music/food the women liked and always agreed with what the women said.
The second group of men approached the round of speed dating with the opposite goal of the first. They went in and were in disagreement of everything the women said. They said no a lot, did not agree with the others taste in music/movies/food, did a lot of teasing and generally disagreed with everything.
The third group of men did a mixture of the two. They agreed on some aspects, disagreed on others, did light teasing, yet still maintained the comfort.
The results… were very eye-opening
As expected, the women had very strong feelings towards each of the men. The first group, the ones who agreed, were those who the women thought are the nice guys who they could be good friends with. They said they would set the nice guy up with their friend or sister, but they themselves would only just be friends.
The second group of guys, the ones who disagreed and teased, were those who the women thought were jerks. The women labeled these guys as the “player” type, said they did not have comfort with them, felt they didn’t have much in common and weren’t interested in continuing the interaction.
The third group of guys, the ones who agreed and disagreed, was the group the women liked the most. The women thought they were the most interesting, were intrigued by them and wanted to learn more and felt that connection between them.
Breaking rapport is what puts you in the same playing field as the third group of men. It keeps you from being stuck in the comfort zone and sets apart your interaction from being just like any other guy.
When breaking rapport it is important to remember one thing; after any kind of break in rapport it is important for you to build some kind of comfort afterwards. This is how you refrain from being the second group of guys.
You can do this by joining in with the laughter, say you’re just kidding, or compliment her on handling your jokes so well. This serves to ensure that you don’t end up in a negative situation with the girl and don’t completely sever the rapport.
How to Do It
- Playfully push her away.
- Turn your back to her.
- Have your eyes wander away as if you you become lost in thought.
- Have her do something that makes her look silly without her realizing it until it’s to late.
- Do something childish like point at her shirt and flick her nose when she looks down.
- Pick her up off the ground
- While dancing with her stop and dance alone for a second and then pull her back in.
- Remove your presence.
- Playfully kick, punch, or flick her.
- Dog Jaw Routine: Tell her you have “dog jaw” and to feel your jaw because it clicks. When she touches you snap your head and bark loudly, scaring her
- Stop speaking and just stare at her for a second.
- Touch her with something cold.
- Play thumb war.
- Tell her you want to show her a cool pose. Step by step have her put one hand on her waist, the other hand as if holding a tray to the side, and stand on one foot. Then say, “Now say ‘I’m a little teapot.’”
- If she yawns put your finger in her mouth.
- Give her a stupid nickname, i.e. blondie, shorty, sparkles, etc.
- Loudly say, “No, I will not make out with you.”
- Notice and mention something dorky or embarrassing about her.
- Act like you’re trying to hide or keep a low profile while walking with her. When she asks you why say,
- “Sorry, I have a reputation to keep.”
- Find something funny or nerdy to label her as or continually point out.
- Introduce her in a funny way. “This is Samantha…I can’t get rid of her for some reason.”
- Tell her if she doesn’t start behaving you’ll put her on timeout.
- Mimic her in a funny way
- Call her a dork, loser or nerd.
- Tell her she is “over the hill” if she’s young.
- If she whines or complains about something just look at her with a sad face and play a mini violin or make a tear gesture with your finger.
- Ask her which sentence is correct, “The yolk of the egg is white,” or “The yolk of the egg are white.” When she answers explain that the yolk of the egg is yellow.
- If she says you’re stupid/ugly/dorky/gay, whatever…say
- “Your FACE is [stupid/ugly/dorky/gay, etc.]”
- If a girl teases you just look at her unimpressed and say, “weak.”
- After you just teased a girl look at her and say “Annnnd, you’re done.”
- Saying you like physical attribute or character trait [X] when she has [Y]. Example, say you really like brunettes when speaking to a blonde.
- Tell her to get out of your “bubble” (personal space).
- Say she would be a really cool friend.
- Tell her it sucks you had to meet her in a club/bar.
- Mention the word girlfriend.
- Say she seems like a good girl and you don’t want to corrupt her.
- Have her see you talk to another girl
- If you have to do something with her say, “Awww…I’m stuck with you?”
- Say, “OMG we’ll NEVER get along…we’re just way too similar.”
- Tell her you can help her find a nice guy
- Tell her she is the kind of girl you can only handle in small doses.
- If you get blown out say, “Listen hun, you need to lower your standards the way I just did.”
- Say “no.”
- After she says she likes something say that you don’t (explain why).
- After she says she dislikes something say that you do like it (explain why).
- Say, “I bet you can’t dance” (or whatever activity is going on).
- Say, “I hope you’re joking.”
- Have a friendly debate on something.
- After she says or does something that can be misinterpreted as awkward or silly say, “Wow…” and make a face like she’s weird.
- Cancel a plan you made.
- Tell her she’s “fired” if she does something poorly.
- Tell her she’s being rude about something and correct her behavior in some way.
- After she asks you to do something look at her blankly and ask why.
- If she says something you don’t like just respond with, “You’re cut.”
- Make your body language and tonality be in agreement but have your words be in disagreement. ex, Smile and nod your head in agreement but then casually say, “Yeah, that is awful.”
- If a girl tells you you’re going to come to [X] place then say, “Well first we’re going to [Y].”
- If a girl asks you to buy her a drink say “Tell you what, you get this round and I’ll get the next.”
- If a girl asks you to buy her a drink say “I don’t buy random girls drinks. How about we get to know each other a little and take it from there.”
- Interrupt her when she is speaking.
- Take a sip of her drink without asking.
- Observe something negative and point it out, i.e. “You kind of mumble a lot.”
- Spontaneously decide to move her around the venue or isolate her.
- Check a text message during your interaction.
- Ask for some form of compliance, such as for her to hold your drink.
- If she’s not paying attention or dozes out point to your eyes and tell her to focus.
- Make a big deal about a simple compliance task she gives you and then wink and do it like it’s no big deal.
- If she’s not complying say, “Come on, don’t be gay.”
- If a girl says something not interesting or not helpful in then say “That’s amazing!” then immediately change topic
- Say, “OMG, stop undressing me with your eyes.”
- When your arms are wrapped around her either from behind or front randomly bite or kiss her neck.
- “I don’t even want to know what dirty thoughts are going through your mind right now.”
- “You have really sexy eyes.”
- In a deep, sexy voice say, “You have no idea what you’re doing to me right now.”
- Interrupt her with some form of sexual escalation like a kiss.
- Use a strong kino jump, such as slapping her ass.
- Turning the topic of conversation to sex.
- Say, “You know, you smell REALLY good.”
- Drop game and being honest with your intent. For example, after an opener say, “OK, honestly, I just wanted to come and meet you because I really like your look.