The 2 SIMPLE questions that will help you build a connection with her.
Let’s say that you’ve followed my post on How to Approach A Super Hot Girl in 4 Steps. You’ve just approached a girl, and you’ve already made your introductions. Maybe you’ve fluffed a little bit and you have no idea what to do. Maybe you’ve been in this situation before and it went nowhere. The conversation dies, awkward silences ensue, and you leave or she leaves. You need more direction. Here’s what you can do.
Now, thereʹs just a certain way that I talk. And if you do this too, women will feel that youʹre LISTENING TO THEM. Asking these questions will instantly push your conversations into a much deeper place. Seriously though, Deep communication is what gives you insight into their world, into their view of life, their perspective, and most of all is how I elicit a ʺRomanticʺ or any other state. You want your conversations to elicit emotions, period.
People connect on an emotional level. So learning how to have a conversation that triggers the emotions, is pretty important in relationships of any kind, friendly or sexual.
Here’s an example that illustrates the difference between ʺDeepʺ and ʺSuperficial Communication.”
What NOT to do: Superficial (This is what you want to avoid ‐ itʹs fine early on, but as you build rapport, go for DEEPER communication).
Question: What do you enjoy?
She says she likes Dancing:
Guy: ʺSo where do you dance?ʺ
Girl: At such and such club.
Guy: ʺSo what kind of dancing do you do?ʺ
Girl: Oh techno type Guy: ʺSo how long have you been dancing?ʺ
Girl: My whole life.
See where this goes… NOWHERE. But the thing is that MOST GUYS communicate like this!
Now contrast this to ʺDeep Communication,ʺ (ʺXʺ and ʺYʺ just represent her specific responses that you can fill the blanks in with).
Me: ʺWhat do you really enjoy?ʺ
Me: ʺSO WHAT IS IT ABOUT dancing that you really enjoy?
Her: I really enjoy X and doing this type of thing.
Me: ʺSo when youʹre doing X, and youʹre really starting to get into it, what is this like?ʺ (You are EVOKING THE FEELING NOW)
Her: Itʹs like ʺYʺ
Me: ʺYou know when Iʹve danced before itʹs almost like your experience where you can do X…. and feel Y… itʹs just amazingʺ (And adding YOUR perspective using HER words!)
By now sheʹs going glassy eyed because sheʹs FEELING so GOOD. Hereʹs another example: She says ʺMusic,ʺ Iʹd want to avoid ʺSuperficialʺ responses like, ʺWhat kind of music,ʺ ʺWhat groups do you like?ʺ etc. GO with Deep communication:
Me: ʺSO WHAT IS IT ABOUT music that you enjoy?ʺ or you could say, ʺSO WHAT DO YOU REALLY ENJOY ABOUT music?ʺ
Her: She says ʺI feel Xʺ or if she says I like ʺXʺ. Then Iʹd say ʺSo how does ʺXʺ make you feel?ʺ
Me: So when youʹre listening to music and really feeling it… WHAT IS IT LIKE for you?ʺ
Her: She says ʺYʺ
Me: ʺI like that… You know, I know for me when I listen to music itʹs almost like your experience also where you can feel X and you start to Y…. itʹs amazingʺ
Again… Glassy eyed! Showing your understanding of the feelings and emotions she experiences with whatever activity they like to do shows that you are genuinely listening to her. It shows understanding and builds a connection with her. She’ll like and appreciate you much more for it and you will stand apart from the pack if you do this. Most guys are clueless and don’t know how to connect like this. Now you do.
Now go out there and practice. Reading and ideas ain’t shit, you have to execute, take action!