Hello fellow would-be Casanova’s.
I just got back from a fantastic weekend with my girlfriend and I’m feeling energized to post a little something for your viewing pleasure. Before jumping in, I want to say that I think that when both parties in a relationship have an abundance mentality, it leads to a much more successful relationship.
Instead of needing each other (in worst cases, one needing the other more), you want each other… you both choose each other.
Why is this important?
Because you both don’t come from a scarcity mindset, “I must have him/her, I won’t be able find another,” You do not act out from insecurity or fear. All that is left is an untainted desire to be together. Anyways, just a little something to think about! Let’s begin…
So the other day I was talking to a friend and he made the big claim that social skill is innate. He believed that our ability to successfully socialize was something that we’re born with.
I couldn’t help but grin.
I had this conversation a million times, and couldn’t even begin to tell him how wrong he was. This friend happened to have a big ego however, so I simply said, “Sure thing, but you’d be surprised how much it can be improved,” before cutting the topic and moving on the what the weather was like.
Another side note, people with egos don’t want to change. Telling them that something they lack can be improved will do nothing for them, unless they are ready for it. Most people can’t handle the fact that their life is exactly how it is through the culmination of all the decisions they’ve ever made. With that note, we move on to…
Social skills are learned
Just like any other skill, being good at socializing is a skill that can be learned. Typically, it is learned through a chaotic trial and error process that we experience since the day we are born.
I call this the natural way and it is entirely decided by fate. That is to say that we would have no control over it since we were not even conscious of this process. This is typically the phase that accounts for our whole grade school experience.
From the moment we make our first friend to the moment we get picked on for the first time, we are learning social skills. And by chance, some of us learn to excel socially, while others lag behind. And if you were like me, you were one of those that lagged behind.
There is hope. It is possible to master social skills on a level, never thought possible. It is possible to meet a complete stranger, even a beautiful women, and create a strong connection. It is possible to be the center of attention and have people gravitate towards you. It is possible to turn the direction and result of every social interaction in your favor.
Social skills, or just plain being social, is like any other skill or sport… it can be learned and mastered. And just like any other skill and sport, it requires thousands of hours of practice and learning to achieve mastery. It is not an easy process, but it is incredibly rewarding. The good news is that while there may very well be plenty of frustrations involved in this journey of self-improvement, often times you will find the process very enjoyable.
From this point on, you will forget the past and focus on the now. There are no more excuses for social retardation, because you have, in your control, the power to carve your social destiny. It’s time to start practicing.
2 Questions That Will Instantly Improve The Quality of Your Conversations [pending]