What Women Won’t Tell You
The other day I was lying in bed with my girlfriend when we had an interesting conversation. We were talking about relationships, when the topic of what we liked about each other came up. She was telling me how my dorkiness is what won her over. Some of you may think right now, “Aw, how cute!” This is a huge misconception! I was not the dork I turned out to be when I first met her, in fact, she was afraid I was the typical douche bag. I dressed like one with my leather-biker jacket, I walked like an asshole, and I “came on” to her like one. We grinded on the dance floor and made-out when we met.
But here’s the thing, it was some of the qualities of a douchebag that I portrayed that actually got her attracted in the first place, but it was my dorkiness that allowed her to trust me (also known as vulnerability. This is a big distinction. Some guys might hear a girl say something like what my girlfriend said and think, “Yeah! I’ll just be my dorky self, some girl will like me!” WRONG, what a girl says versus what she feels are completely different things.
To be blunt, if I acted like a dork and looked like a dork when she first meet me, she would have rejected me or at best, put me in the friend zone. In a way, it was my douchebagness that attracted her to me, but it was my dorkiness that allowed her to trust me.
So the first thing that women won’t tell you is that they are NOT attracted to nice guys. It’s as simple as that. They will tell you all day long that “I just want a nice guy,” but they always seem to end up with the douche bags or assholes. The, “be nice to her,” advice, is best if you want to be in her friend zone. But if you actually want to be with her in the sexual way, you have to show an edginess to yourself. You have to show the qualities of what makes a man attractive.
There are negative douche bag qualities and positive douche bag qualities, qualities like risk-taking, confidence, dominance, and leadership, versus negative qualities like controlling, narcissism, egocentric, selfish, and being inconsiderate. It’ll take a mammoth post to talk about that one subject alone. I’ll get to it in the near future, luckily for you
Anyways, there is a another distinction to be made. If I was a guy that a girl is attracted to, but couldn’t trust, that would make me a douchebag. If I was a guy that a girl is attracted to, but CAN trust, then I become that knight in shining armor. But you do NOT want to be that nice guy, whom a girl can just trust, because then you just become the dorky friend. You need come off a little dangerous and mysterious, while also coming off nice and genuine. You don’t want to be a douchebag, but you don’t want to be a dork. By showing both sides you create a good middle-ground, a balance, that makes you an irresistible as a guy. You become that “hottie” that girls gossip about. Girls fall in love with these types of guys. Now you have to worry about girls marrying you!
Stay tuned, I’ll get into the details about how you can be attractive AND nice in later posts.